The hotel bill is paid and it’s the last 24 hours now and I will soon be leaving, first in my head and then with everything else. What will I remember about this trip? What’s made it different?

I will remember how wonderful the weather has been to allow us to enjoy the beach and the sea right out there in front of us in this perfect hotel facing the sea. It’s always with us and in this enviroment of living room/bedroom/etc. we can be inside and feel the outside on the balcony early in the morning and late at night. We were in this very same apartment last January and could really not enjoy the outside on the outside. It was cold and windy and rainy and Tuvia got the flu.

Vacation is still about the weather and this weather has been perfect for us to enjoy the place and the people. I am comfortable here and it’s a good time to be here. Sure, you are always careful and watchful, but things here are calm, until of course, they are not. After 11 years and then some, I can be here, not really communicate in Hebrew and still feel connected to the place. I can see what’s changing and what needs changing. When we are here, there’s always an unspoken commitment to return, when will we return?

Tuvia is watching me write now, wondering when I will finish and get ready for our next adventure. I have about 5 minutes to spend with this post before he becomes really ready to move out. Maybe less. Okay, for now, I have to take a break and get ready to celebrate the birth of a new baby. Now that’s always a wonderful reason to celebrate.

And in the midst of all this heaven there’s that elephant on everyone’s back: the Palestinian question, Gaza, the West Bank, Hamas, Fatah, politics, suicide bombers.  I know my friend Tom, is never excited about my trips here, relieved when I’m back in the US.  I can’t say that I don’t totally think about danger, but then I don’t feel totally safe anywhere.  That doesn’t stop me from coming here anymore than it stops the people who live here from living.  That’s a fear you just can’t hold you back from living.

There’s a real frustration here, among Tuvia’s good friends who share his passion and optimism for Israel.  But this time they all seem exhausted by the politicans and their greed.  The news about Olmert and his corruption has turned many Israelis off to his crediblity.  I do hear positive things about having Barack in the government although no one seems to like his approach to people.  Will there be progress toward a two state solution?  Doesn’t sound like it at this moment.  And what about Zippi Livni, our new Israeli hope?  Those we trust are not too impressed with her.  So for now, while Israel is doing well and it’s quiet here, there’s a wait and see attitude.

For us, it’s home in a few hours and just in time to enjoy fall in New York.

I’m ready.  I can’t wait to get back to a digital story.

It’s Sunday in Nyack and I have had the luxury to relax in my space and prepare for a week of digital adventure slowly. I’ve exerised on my Nordic Track, reconnected with my guitar and drank lots of coffee. It’s so comfortable to step back into my real life as I turned the key in the lock and entered with a cool breeze propelling me inside to a very clean apartment. Tuvia and I left behind our Tel Aviv routine, our friends, great humus and pita and the war. Lots of friends were relived to get my photos and email note that we were officially out of danger nad back in safety.
I don’t believe that we are safe. I don’t think most people feel safe. The day before we left Israel a big terrorist plot of blow up lots of planes with a liquid explosive was foiled. Everyone flying out of England was reduced to filling a clear plastic baggie. No liquids, no laptops, just bare essentials. When we arrived at the airport 24 hours later, we were given the same list of liquids to keep in cargo luggage even though there was no effort made to monitor this order once we passed through the security checks. Some people always feel invaded by Israel’s efforts to maintian tighter security. I say bring it on! One good thing about a war and/or a failed terror plot is stepped up security. That’s good.
But war, will we ever feel secure again? Will we ever feel optimistic about the future? I think Tuvia still does, I can’t at the moment. I hope that changes. I miss Israel. I miss being there and hearing out what’s happening so far away. But I’m here, in my life ready for the next challenge. That’s for now!

It’s amazing to say, I feel comfortable when not every Israeli can say that. I felt guilty about it when we first arrived but as we are here and the war is raging it’s TV visuals make it seem as far away as Iraq although the future doesn’t feel safe not with GB ready to pounce of Iran. Our future feels like a dark sci fi futuristic movie.

Today we visited great friends of Tuvia’s, friends from Ann Arbor, a physicist at the Weitzman Institute.  It is such a pleasure to be with them, to share their feelings about the war, books, theater, family…Ricki and Asher!
But for now, in this moment, it is wonderful to be in this place, still. Dinner at a favorite restaurant, the long walk in the evening with the beach streets covered with people eating, walking, enjoying the night breeze and in Lebanon the war is deepening and I can’t say it’s not necessary.

It feels good today. Even though we have been here together often, you still need to be patient with jet lag. It takes time to get really adjusted and finally, half way through we are. Sleep is the key. So we can wake up slowly, dress to walk at the beach, stop for an Israeli breakfast at a cool place called Banana Beach, where they still play the greatest hits of Bab Morley for the authentic beach atmosphere and we order an Israeli breakfast of scrambled eggs, feta cheese, Israeli salad, nescafe with hot water and most important, warm pita bread and no one rushes us out. Near us a young mother entertains her two children watching in the double carriage, a young guy reads the Israeli newpaper, sips a coffee and smokes a Lucky Strike. A large group of Israelis engage in a heated argument probably centered around the war, and the woman directly in front of us writes letters, reads and deals with cancer treatments with dignity.

We are just happy to be feeling good and eating good food and able to just enjoy a few moments before we return to the war news.

Tonight we will send more time getting to know new Mia and brother Mihael and family coming to share the nachas. Of course the news will softly play as a substitute for easy listening music.

We always have the routine of life and the tragedy and the unknown of the war. We are already in the last half of our time here. TIme, time, time…

Bonnie

What can you do? It’s jet lag, it’s the war, it’s the comfort of being in a great space with room to get out of the bedroom and move to a place that will not disturb Tuvia.

I have been writing often about being here and the most powerful, satisfying writing was the one that’s lost, the email that I tired to send to Nancy. Letters are great for me. One person to share with, like to notion of essays by Montaign, so I will try that here. Nancy is a perfect person to keep in mind. She is political and probably torn about this particular war as I am. What’s great about being with Tuvia is his stance on the world. He is always grounded in global isssues. Iraq is a great example. For the longest time he saw that the only good thing about that war was the place it put Israel. Saddam’s end was the end of his support of suicide bombers, but beyond Saddam what appeared was even worse, an Iran without an Iraq and that allowed Iran to put Israel in its front sights, so that’s an even worse senerio than could have been imagined.

Here, there is not a person that Tuvia doesn’t want to talk with about the war: his family, his friends, interesting hotel guests:David Broza for one, taxi drivers, etc. and I am with him, because ultimately, I am the one he shares it all with and I love it. I don’t even realize what I know until I am on my own without him. WOw, I have learned so much.

And here we are on vacation in Tel Aviv, 40 miles from Haifa where bombs are falling and killing people. Bombs are falling in the north, in the south, but so far, they aren’t falling here, and it’s not that Hizbullah doesn’t want them for fall here. They do, they just don’t have ones strong enough. Tuvia’s calling….I will return.

Another day in Israel. This day marks my 57th year of life and I am focused on how to best spend this day to make it unique and it already is, there’s a war going on not far from our move to another hotel, not as good but really not bad. There’s still a veiw of the sea and over 1 mmillion people are living like refugees away from their homes, for their safety, so yes, I’m not staying in the hotel of my choice, but I have a home to return to on Saturday. It’s hard to push yourself out of yourself.

And Tuvia is sweet and wants to make sure I am having a good day, so what can I say!